Later, Maya Vander got married to her husband (name not available) in the year 2017. After one year, they decided to get married. After the first meet in Los Angeles, the couple started dating each other. She has an affair with her partner since the year 2016. We just pay our £9.The 32-year-old lady is a married woman and also the mother of two children. Selling Sunset is Christine’s playground, her world. Are you serious? Knock me out as you swing your arse-length ponytail like it’s a medieval flail, Christine.Īs the queen herself tweeted the other day, “My back hurts from carrying this show”. Thirty for her lines, the best in the show – one example: when she goes to Mary’s house and is served a lipstick marked wine glass, she says, “I feel like I’m in a Cheesecake Factory”. Fifteen skill points for her hazing abilities, which she enacts, drunk on Cristal and/or bloodlust, on any person who has ever-so-slightly pissed her off. Ten skill points for her terrifying memory (in the pilot, she remembers one brief meeting with the new girl, Chrishell, unbeknownst to her, on a night out years ago). It’s LA, bitch.Ĭhristine is an evil Barbie with a river of hair that men drown in, never to be seen again the alter-ego Taylor Swift thinks she did with Reputation. *It’s necessary to luxuriate in this show to accept that no one here is a “good” person. The only other thing you do need to know now is just how Much* these women are so I’ve ranked them to 0 to 100. It’s everything TV commissioners have realised reality TV needs in 2020: both tacky glamour and genuine opulence, impenetrable smarm and deeply impenetrable foreheads… and relative evil. The third season is out now and it’s so instantly mesmerising that you could dive right into that season with only the information I provide here. No one did until two months into lockdown, because it provided the two things many of us felt we would never have again, never attain at all: bitching sessions and house porn. You’d be forgiven for not knowing about this Netflix show. I wouldn’t say there’s a cult energy to the business but there is the regular socialising with colleagues, which involves drinking a lot of Oppenheim branded wine at each other’s houses! Evenings and weekends! Very few if any outsiders! Also one of them dated the boss who still calls her the greatest woman on the planet and whose relationship only ended because he couldn’t commit! They bought a dog together months after they broke up! All good, healthy stuff. They will barter in innuendo and talk of “the bedroom” and raise a laminated eyebrow.īy night, in the dry Californian heat, they eat slithers of steak and send each other looks like needles as they swing wine glasses as big as their heads. They will sell these properties if it kills them, without breaking a sweat or tripping in a stiletto. In these properties, they flirt outrageously with ugly tech bros called ‘Matthew’ and ‘Andrew’ and recite every last deeply specific fact about the house (the forest that each bit of flooring material was taken from, solar-panelled heating systems, the square foot of each annex and corridor). By day, the women move from the office – a space where they pick apart each other’s failing relationships like vultures and give pieces-to-camera facing a string of blogger lights so forceful any features left on their faces are blown out, somehow both shiny and matte – to the properties. In many ways, the Oppenheim Group is the most convincing case I’ve ever seen for making on-commission work illegal. They are truly living, (fake) laughing and loving (in their own funny way). These women are millionaires in their own right, selling what my dad would call “music video pads” with infinity pools and basketball courts in the Hills. Think tonged hair, bronzer, bodycon dresses with chunky waist-belts, fuchsia lipstick, diamond Circle of Life necklaces, cursive script tattoos of their own name. The very real world of Oppenheim Group Real Estate centres around a team of female real estate brokers who dress like everyone in LA dresses – like British students in the early 2010s but monied.
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